HorrorFest 2007

3.5/5 stars
tooth and nail

Michael madsen
break your bones, mr jones
mark young seems to be like one of those nerdy kids who got a's in everything but somehow flunked out of P.E. hes obviously mastered casting, writing, directing, and camera, but he was never able to climb the rope of pacing, something even those jock retards who made skeleton key could ascend. tooth and nail may be the only movie in history i wished to be longer, why because it could have been the aliens of the indie movie industry, come on it had the girls in charge bit, the tension, and the mute girl. but instead i has to just be a really good movie. right off the bat the movie has a hypnotic feel, it lulls you into a world much like your own, only devoid of fossil fuels. the fact that this minor resource's cease to exist desecrated humanity is certainly laughable at first, but the more the professor explains it the more you could see such a minor thing tear up the materialistic USA. after the thesis, the movie plays out like aliens for the metal generation, a gaggle of cannibals in GWAR inspired costumes stalks and prays on survivors in a hospital that looks suspiciously like that of session 9(its no problem though, throughout session i prayed someone would steal the set and atmosphere and put it in a movie that didn't drag ass for 2 hours and give me no payoff). all in all tooth and nail will keep you captivated and entertained even during its ridiculous anti-climax and keep you thinking even after you leave the theater.


2.5/5 stars
Mulberry street
where the streets have names
forget the unnamed virus carried by the manhatten rats this movies has 2 other distinct diseases. first is the only, other then the mislead last 5 minutes, problem with the movie: zombie movie denial syndrome. before i explain this let me tell you the characteristics of the movies enemies: brain dead, eating human flesh, dead already, infected when bitten. sound like zombies, well not quite, they are...giant...evolving......rat people. What? i know this movie was shot on a budget of almost nothing(shot on a handicam in the middle of new york without permission, none of the actors received pay because they were all friends of the director)but zombie make up is cheap and easy to find, and with the film's seizure inducing camera angles nobody will be able to tell the difference. but rat people, cornballs up the scenes that are supposed to be scary and almost ruins a great movie. the secondary case of george romero-itis is actually beneficial to the film as it makes an interesting parallel to the new orleans tragedy. honestly their really isn't a whole lot more wrong with mulberry street that isn't the rat people, the actors are the most talented bunch of nobodies i think i've ever seen, the story is good, the gore is low budget gold, and the characters are fleshed out and actually make you care about them, and hope for their benefactor. oh but those rat people and the overly sympathetic, lets rip off 28 days later ending will keep you from ever taking the movie completly seriously and will keep your friends from taking it seriously when you bring it up. mulberry street is a prime example of something that was fixed when it wasnt broken, and now looks worse for wear than it's predecessor.